Sweet Redemption

Since our rocket was such a fiasco Saturday night, we returned to Hobby Lobby today to purchase redemption.  Actually, it was called The Metalizer.  It was a bright silver rocket and the packaging even read, "May require sunglasses".  Once the kids got home, we headed to a different park to shoot this one.  We chose this one for the large flat field and absence of a lake (obviously important).

The rocket blasted off beautifully.

 And returned to Earth beautifully.

Even if it did require a nice jog for retrieval.

We were able to shoot it three times (one time for each kid).  Everyone seemed to have a 'blast' (ha ha) except Holt.  He screamed and wailed everytime the rocket blasted off.  Oh well!  One day, he will love it too.  This was so much fun that we plan on continuing this as a miniature hobby. 

Mr. Mom

Adam was off work today and as the 7:00 alarm went off (after three snoozes) we both rolled out of bed.  I was excited about having some help with my morning routine and also excited for him to witness my well oiled machine.  I headed straight for the kids' room to wake the troops and he headed straight for the bathroom.

I spent the next 5 minutes singing the kids awake.  When that didn't get them up, I then threatened them with their lives.  (Yes, I do this every morning)  I then spent the next 10 minutes picking out their clothes, making them breakfast, and hounding them about getting their clothes on, shoes and socks included.

Adam finally emerged from the bathroom.  So much for some help.  "What can I do, honey?" he asked me.  "Well, there's not really anything left now." I replied in my passive-aggressive voice, but mostly passive.  I continued packing Hayes' snack.

On second thought, I decided to tag him in on the morning routine--it would be nice to take advantage of this and get a kickstart to my own day.  "Just make sure the kids grab their coats and put Hayes' snack in his backpack.  They need to be outside looking for the bus by 7:38." I instructed as I set the tupperware containing the snack in plain sight on the kitchen counter.  "Aye, aye, captain" I heard as I headed back to the bathroom to begin getting myself ready for the day.

Thirty minutes later, the kids have already caught the bus and Adam is lounged on the bed playing on the computer.  I stroll into the kitchen and immediately march back to the bedroom.

Holding the tupperware containing Hayes' snack I declare to my husband, "Don't quit your day job!"

Houston, We Have a Problem

For the last couple of weekends, we have received snow.  With a reprieve in the cold temperatures, we decided to take advantage of the 65 degree Saturday and shoot a rocket that we've been holding for the perfect day.  I actually got the rocket for Adam nearly a year ago.  It was one of his '30 days of 30' gifts.

It was a slightly windy day.  Adam thought it was a good idea to take the balloons down to the park to assist in gauging the speed and direction of the wind -- both important factors in shooting a rocket.

"You don't suppose it will land in the lake, do you?" I questioned.  With an easterly wind, we set up as far to the west as possible.  There was a good fifty yards between our rocket and the lake.  "Nah."  He positioned the angle of the rocket to blast off even more westwardly, for added prevention.

 

A quick talk on rocket safety and logistics, and we were ready for blast off!

The boys had a great time watching it shoot up into the sky.  It was difficult to spot the rocket in the sky at first, since the sun was so bright.  He began drifting back to earth.  As it began to approach closer and closer, Adam took off running towards the lake to catch it.  "You're too far!" I shouted at him.  "You've way over-shot it!"

I couldn't have been more dead wrong.  Actually, neither of us could have been more dead wrong.  That floating red thing right smack-dab in the middle of the lake is our rocket.  The boys' wheels started turning, trying to think of ways to retrieve their rocket.  Afterall, we had intended on shooting it two more times.  "Maybe we could use a pool pole, Dad."  I offered jokingly.

Houston always comes up with elaborate schemes.  "I know!  We can toss some bread in the lake to attract the geese.  When they start to swim over to eat it, they will push the rocket towards the side where we can grab it!"
"Great thinking, Houston."  I encouraged him.  "Only one problem.  There aren't any geese here today.  And we forgot the bread."

Well, that only leaves one option.  A totally blog-worthy option might I add.  One that involves a serious toy.

Adam:  "Huey, you want to swim out there and get it?"
Houston:  Considering the idea, "What if there are meat eating fish in there?"
Adam:  "Pirhannas live in Africa.  It's totally up to you, man.  If you swim out there and get it, I'll take you to buy a toy of your choice."
Me:  "And, I'll blog about it!"  (He enjoys his moments of fame in the web-world)

And with that, he started undressing.  Adam and I were both a little bit shocked.

"Now this is a lake, Houston.  So when you step in, it's gonna feel squishy because it is dirt on the bottom."
"Okay, Dad."
Adam continued, "The water's gonna be cold.  But once you get in, you're already wet.  You might as well just keep going until you get the rocket."

He stepped into the lake.

On second thought, the water IS freezing!  He changed his mind.  But bless his heart, he really was going to do it!  Adam and I were so proud, even if you think we're crazy for even suggesting such a thing.

"Houston, I love your attitude, buddy."  Adam made sure to encourage him so that Houston would not see this as a failure.

"Dad!  I want to try to swim and get it." Hayes chimed in.

"Bud, you can't swim out there and get it.  Swimming in a lake is a lot different than the pool."


"But you didn't say that you like my attitude?!"

With that, we realized he had no intention of swimming after the rocket.  He was merely searching for his father's approval.  "I like your attitude too, buddy."

After another five minutes of contemplating the worth of retrieving the rocket versus purchasing a new one, we headed home feeling slightly bummed.  The rocket floated there teasing us just fifteen feet off the shore.  It would have been easier to accept if it had just sunk straight to the bottom.  Even as we walked away, we kept looking back at it.  We even drove by later that night and tried to spotlight it from the car.  We will redeem this!

Welcome Home, Daddy!

In celebration of Adam's return from Atlantic City, the kids and I decided to have a welcome home party.  He was severly missed!  The night before he came home, Houston actually broke out in tears while talking to Dad on the phone.  Poor guy just couldn't stand his father being gone for one more minute.

As soon as the kids got home from school, I put them to work on painting a door sign.  Things always go a lot differently in my head.  I am a bit of a control freak.  I figured I would just let the kids be their own little artists, you know, let their true colors shine through.  And voila!  We would end up with a replica of the beautiful masterpiece I had already painted in my head.  However, the kids weren't seeing it.  I offered many suggestions, that were inflected more as commands, "Hey Houston, don't you think some yellow would look good right here?"  "Hayes, why don't you draw some squiggly lines of blue right here."  "Hawkins, don't you want to paint with your favorite color, green?"  Despite my attempts to "control" the outcome of the banner, the kids ultimately painted how they wanted.  And I don't think it could have turned out any better!  It was beautiful!

Time was beginning to get away from us, and we still needed to run to the store to get some balloons before Adam's arrival.  Besides, what's a welcome home party without balloons?  There is just something about a bouquet of colorfol latex that makes me giddy inside.  Things just seem magically more blissful and immediately more joyous with the presence of balloons and curling ribbon.

With Houston's help, we got the door sign hung.  I hollered at the kids to quickly put their shoes on while I buckled Holt into his car seat and got my own shoes on.  By the time I had Holt loaded in the car, the boys emerged from the house, all with shoes on.

Well, he did have shoes on.  Even if they weren't matching and both left-footed.  And yes, I let him go in his puppy pajamas.  Hayes still had his blue mohawk from horrible hair day.  What can I say?  We did look like a bunch of misfits. 

No sooner than we all entered the party store did I truly understand how ridiculous we looked.  Right away, I noticed a woman staring at me and the boys.  I could almost hear the snide remarks in her head.    I didn't hesitate to address her, more so as to convince myself that I'm not a crazy mom, just a cool mom.  "He's two.  He dressed himself today.  Ha ha.  Some battles are just not worth fighting. (insert more phony laughter)"  She smiled and looked away.

I let the boys each choose four colors for the bouquet of balloons.  I think I would have rather shot myself in the leg.  First of all, there's about twenty choices of colors.  System overload for indecisive young boys who are limited to only four selections.  And of course, they all want the same color.  Which goes like this:

In the whiniest voice ever, "I want blue."
"No, I want that blue!"
Trying to remain calm, "You can both have that blue if you want."
"Uh, nevermind!  I'm changing mine!"
(Like a chorus, repeat 4 times, just change the color)

Twenty mintues later, I think they all had settled on their four balloons at least three times before I told them they had fifteen seconds to make their final, final decision and that was it -- no more switching.

And that's how we ended up with the craziest bunch of colors (ivory, gold, black, and some actual cheery ones).  It wasn't fifteen minutes after we got home and had tied the balloons all around the living room that Adam got home!  He thought the colors were just perfect.

The boys and I were absolutely delighted to have him home.  However, as thrilled as we were, I think he was even more so excited to be home.  There were lots and lots of hugs and kisses to go around.

Followed by a tackle and a Schwartz boy sandwich.

Holt even wore his coolest Daddy shirt in honor of his return.  And around here, Daddy is a big deal.  Without him, life just doesn't feel right.  The five of us downed an entire celebratory angel food cake and nestled on the couch together for the rest of the night.  Everything was once again right in the world.  There is an overwhelming peace to have everyone safe and together at home.

Horrible, Horrendous Hair Day

In celebration of the end of 'H' week, kindergarteners were to attend school today with horrible hair.  Last year, Houston sported liberty spikes that were also blue.  With Adam out of town, I went for a slighly more simple mohawk.  Hayes was totally stoked about his hair, which ended up looking slightly more awesome than horrible in my opinion.  Even if it does bear a slight resemblance to Cookie Monster.

And thanks, Grandma, for the super cool new shirt!  Wish you could see the gray pants with black pin stripes he is wearing to go with it.  With his swanky new hat, he will be stylin' for sure!

Just One of Them Days

For some reason, the driver of Bus 245 thought it would be funny to play a practical joke on me this morning and arrive five minutes earlier than usual to our bus stop.  The bus picks up at each corner of our block.  I typically have the kids ready in time for them to make the earlier stop.  But I choose to hold them until the later stop, thus limiting, as much as possible, their exposure to f-bombs and whatever else shenanigans take place on the bus.

This morning was running so smoothly!  The kids were actually fed, dressed, backpacks packed, and coats on with ten minutes to spare.  When we headed down the driveway to check the first stop, we could hear the bus (it has horribly squeaky brakes) was already approaching the stop that the kids board.  Super!  I ran inside and grabbed my keys.

It snowed yesterday so the windshield was iced over and the windows would not roll down.  Throwing caution to the wind, for the sake of getting the kids on the bus, I drove down the street peeking through the tiniest little slit in the windshield that was ice free and actually provided me a view of the street, however minute it might be.  The bus had already come and gone.  Now I knew I had to take the kids to school.

If you are not in the car rider line by 8:00 am, they make you take the kids inside to sign them in tardy.  It was already 7:47 am.  I decided to gamble.  I grabbed Holt, who was already screaming for his morning bottle, and threw him in his car seat.  I snatched Hawkins out of his bed, not having any time to let him first use the potty and jumped in the car myself.  I was barefooted and in my pajamas.  Did I mention I was leaking breastmilk through my shirt at this point?!

Like 'The Little Engine That Could' I chanted to myself all the way to school, "you can make it, you can make it, you can make it".  As a back up plan, I was already scheming in my head how to avoid escorting the kids inside the building.  I figured if any of the staff peaked in my car to witness what kind of fiasco was going on, they would have sympathy on me.

Fortunately, we made it just in time for the kids to walk themselves into the school.  I'm not sure my kids would have ever gotten over barefooted, milk soaked, pajama clad Mom signing them in at the office.

Another Snow Day

Adam's mom, Vickie, had picked Hawkins up from Mother's Day Out so that I could get a good nap today.  Once the big kids got home from school, we headed over to pick Hawk up.  It had started to snow ever so slightly on my way over.  We stayed to visit a bit and frankly, it was nice to have some adult conversation, even if it was constantly interrupted with refereeing the clan.

Since Adam's dad, Dennis, was not coming home for dinner, we decided to dine together.  I went and picked up Sonic burgers.  The snow was really coming down steadily by now.  Even more so as the time approached for us to head home.  As I packed Holt up in his car seat, and grabbed the few little things scattered here and there across her house, Vickie had taken the big guys outside to get in the car.  I joined them outside just in time to see her surprise snowball attack whomp Houston.  He quickly retaliated and Hayes joined in.  The three of them ran circles around the car, attempting to avoid the snowball strikes.

I stood there watching the three of them laugh and pelt each other with snowballs.  Vickie is such a cool Grandma.  Not only was she out there in the snow, without a coat, having a snowball fight, she initiated it!  This is where Adam gets it.

I am a lot like my mom, who is also awesome, in her own way.  But I would rather be inside, watching the kids have a blast through the window, while baking cookies and making hot chocolate.  But seeing the kids with Vickie today made me realize that sometimes the moments are best experienced in the mix of things, not from the window.

Kitties on the Fridge

I spotted Houston and Hayes standing at the refrigerator hysterically laughing.  Inquiring minds wanted to know.  I headed over to check it out.

Apparently, this is what happens when you turn a 7 year old boy loose with magazines and a pair of scissors.  He removed all the artwork from the fridge to make certain that the two poor cats that apparently have bladder issues wouldn't be missed.

Crick In The Neck, Much?

At Holt's last check-up, the doctor determined that Holt has a contracted neck muscle that keeps him from looking to the right and causes him to favor the left side when he is sleeping.  It's not really a big deal, other than it is causing a very unusual flat spot on the side/back of his head.  My baby's pretty little c-section head is becoming misshapen.

My dad keeps telling me that Holt will develop scoliosis if he continues to sleep in the car seat.  Adam's mom thinks the car seat is attributing to his neck problem.  Alright, alright!  Needless to say, I have begun to transition him out of sleeping in his car seat to sleeping in his pack in play.

So much for the car seat attributing to his neck problem, apparently it is just Holt, not his location.  It's hard to tell from the picture, because he is somewhat swaddled still, but he's lying flat on his back and his face is cranked all the way around, almost nose touching the mattress.  Makes me wonder if this is how he was positioned in my womb since he obviously prefers it.

Hayes-ism

Adam has been gone on his trip for two days.

Hayes:  Mom, how many more years before Daddy comes home?

The Longest Week

Adam, along with five of our employees, left today for a pool and spa expo in Atlantic City, New Jersey.  He will be gone a full seven days.  Neither of us could recall a time where we've ever been apart longer than a couple of days.  Needless to say, it's gonna be a long week. 

I'm pretty sure I heard 'The Funeral March' as he pulled away.

The Hot Sauce

On our trip to Texas, we stopped at what looked like an authentic mexican resteraunt for lunch.  Adam noticed the hot sauce on the table.  It was green.  He couldn't resist a challenge.  "Hey, Houston, I've got $4 if you try this hot sauce." he says as he starts counting the bills out on the table.  Adam knew he was appealing to Houston's weakness.  The kid will do anything for a buck.  "Look, I'll show you, it's not even hot."  He continued to entice him.  Adam dabbed a little on a cracker and tried it.  It was a struggle, but he was able to maintain a straight face.

Just so you know, Wikipedia defines this stuff as:  "El Yucateco Chile Habanero is a brand of hot sauce made from habanero peppers. Unlike other hot sauces such as tabasco sauce, El Yucateco hot sauce uses habanero rather than vinegar as its base. Unlike most American sauces, the green sauce is much hotter than the red sauce."  It's rated at 9000 Scoville units.  For reference, a jalapeno is rated around 4000 units.

My son, who turns his nose up at just about everything I put on the table recently, took Adam up on his challenge.  Surprisingly, Houston did not make a face either.  He did, however, down his entire drink once he was done chewing.  He and Adam had a good laugh and Adam admitted that the sauce really was freak hot.

At about the same time, they both looked at Hayes.  Fresh meat.  Adam once again extended the challenge to Hayes.  Now Hayes is not usually compromised against his will with the enticement of anything.  He is pretty true to his own convictions.  I figured there was no way he would agree.  "Four dollars" Adam kept repeating teasily.

I headed to the restroom and while I was sitting there, I heard Hawkins' voice right outside the stall.  "Mom, I got picture for you!  Mom!  I got present for you!"  Then a strange female voice, "Ma'am your son is trying to hand you something."  From under the stall pops a piece of paper.  "Thanks, buddy." I replied, completely confused.

When I got back to the table, we figured out what happened.  Hayes tried the hot sauce.  Holt started crying.  Apparently, while that was going on, Hawkins sneaked away to come find me and present his picture to me.  The waitress saw him wandering towards the restroom and helped him in.  Thankfully, the place was rather slow.  I'd hate to think what might have happened had they been busy!  We loaded up and headed to Wal-Mart since the four dollars was now burning a hole in their pockets.

Fort Clark Springs or Bust!!

View Larger Map

Daunting isn't it?! That's right, people. Eight hundred and seventy some-odd miles between this Schwartz family and the Wright family reunion!  Yes, I said 870 miles.  It's hard to tell from the map but the city Piedras Negras, just below our destination, is in Mexico. We slightly underestimated the volume of luggage required for a family of six, one of which is an infant.  Actually, once everything that was to be loaded in the car was in a central location, we had filled our office.  Good thing Adam had purchased an additional method for hauling baggage.  And once again, we headed out much later than we had planned. At least this time, there was no flight to catch. Adam and I vowed for the next family vacation, we will start a day earlier.

We pulled out of the driveway at 7 pm, still having to stop to pick up some diapers. Despite everything else against us, we managed to make it to New Boston, TX on that first night. We stayed at a fabulous Holiday Inn Express where I met a lovely lady named Rose. Early that next morning, Holt and I were up way before the rest of the crew and wanted to let them all sleep a little longer. We headed down to grab some breakfast, where we were greeted by Mrs. Rose.  "Oh, look at that baby!  Let me see him!" she exclaimed as she held out her arms.  Normally, I would think this to be weird but one look at her and you can just tell that she is a seasoned grandmother.  I sat and ate breakfast, visiting with her, while she held and rocked Holt.  It was a really sweet time.  She is one of those people that you have one conversation with her and already feel like you've known her since forever.  After an hour or so, we headed back up to wake the sleepyheads.

On the road again!  Driving, driving, and more driving.  Our plan was always to get to the other side of San Antonio and stay the night in a hotel.  Brackettville is only about two hours from San Antonio.  What we didn't realize, as we passed a million hotels, is that once you get to the other side of San Antonio, there is nothing!  Zilch.  We drove an eternity before getting to the next town, which had no places to stay.  It started to seem crazy, now that we were less than 1.5 hours from Grandma's to stay the night anywhere else.  We pressed on and made it around 11 pm.

The kids were wonderful!  How ever did parents make it back before DVD players in the car?  We hardly heard a peep out of any of them the whole trip.  Since the kids and the parents have seperate DVD players, Adam and I were able to get through half of the final season of 24, our driving drug of choice.

P.S.  Pumping on the go is quite an interesting and humiliating experience all in one.

Avalanche of Milk

"Grab the frozen corn chowder out of the freezer to drop off at my mom's" I holler to Adam as he is getting ready to leave.  Easier said than done.  I'm feeding Holt on the couch when all of a sudden I hear a lot of clamor and commotion coming from the kitchen.  It sounds like Adam is being attacked by freezer items, more specifically milk.

That is, in fact, exactly what happened.  Since Holt has been born, freezer space has become more and more of a commodity.  Space has become increasingly more sparse with each passing day.   I can longer buy real people food that is stored in the freezer.  It's gotten to the point where it is a puzzle trying to figure out where the next bag is gonna fit.  Over the last month or so, it has been expected for a few bags to fall out like ice bricks, attempting to smash your bare toes.  However, today was the climax!  We packed up 50 bags to take to my mom's house, along with the corn chowder, and it did not even put a dent in the stockpile.  We presume there are an additional 100 bags of milk still in our freezer.  At least we know Holt won't be starving anytime soon.

Hawk-isms

We have nicknamed Hawkins "big eyes" because he literally has the most gigantic and beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen!  He was playing with a large tub of potato head figures today, while I was once again doing laundry.  He proudly holds his potato head up searching for my approval.  "He have big eyes like me!" he said.

Rattling Out of Control

It was just Holt and I home yesterday morning.  He was wide awake and I needed to get some things done around the house--one of which was to put away a gigantic basket of folded clothes in the nursery.  I laid him on his little playmat with a hanging mobile.  I also put socks and wristlets on him so that he had a rattle on each extremity.  He laid still for a couple of minutes just staring at the brightly colored bug that dangled inches from his forehead.  Then he moved an arm and realized that it made noise.  His eyes opened up really wide.  Within a few more minutes, he figured out he was a one-man band and had every leg and arm flailing around and rattling out of control.  I've never seen him kick his legs so quickly, for so long.  This went on for a good ten minutes.  I continued putting clothes away, trying to not be too distracted by the cuteness at my feet.

Apparently, all that playing and exercising tuckered poor Holt out!

Hawk-isms

Hawkins spent the night with my Mom and Dad last night.  The following was written by my father, whom Hawkins is named after.

Last night, watching "Land of the Lost", I was in one recliner and Hawkins was snuggled in the other with his Grammy.  I couldn't resist stirring the pot (you know how I am), "Hawkins, want to sit with me?".  Not taking his eyes off the tv, "Sit with Grammy".  Well I couldn't accept such a quick dismissal, so about 30 seconds later, "Hawkins, want to come sit with me?".  Being the well seasoned almost three year old diplomat, he replied "Not...yet".  You know what I mean, that slight hesitation between "not" and "yet".  Ok, a little encouragement there.  So, again another 30 seconds or so later, "Hawkins, wanta come sit with me?".  I shoulda' stuck with "not yet".  He tilted his head slightly in my direction, angled down ever so slightly, such that he could only see me with his left eye, and with a stern look on his face replied, " N..O 'pells 'no'! ".

Let It Snow

Snow days are a lot more fun when you're a kid.  As a parent, they really are just a lot of extra work.  We woke up to several inches of snow.  Hayes was dying to play outside.  Houston really could have cared less, provided we let him play Pokemon.

To play or not to play?  Adam and I wrestled with the question.  Prolonging our indecision, Adam and the boys made a quick trip to Lowe's while I cooked a big breakfast.  (Breakfast is my favorite meal to cook)  By the time we ate and cleared the table, it was 11.  Again, Hayes was begging to play outside.

You see, as a Mom, snow days go kinda like this:  Dig through all the drawers and the bottom of the closets looking for the matches to all the single gloves that you haven't seen or used since the last time it snowed.  Then you start layering the kids up.  The more you layer them, the hotter they get and the less they can move.  By the time you are on your third kid, the first one has been baking in his fleece for a good 20 minutes.  "I'm hot.  When can we go outside?  I'm dying", etc. etc.  You get everyone bundled up, start to layer yourself, and then someone has to go to the bathroom, even though you had asked them all to please go before you began the whole process.  Undo steps 2 & 3 and then re-do, all the while pacifying the now well-toasted kids who are still whining and complaining.  You finally make it outside and it isn't long before somebody's something starts to itch them or bug them or gets wet.

But even knowing all that, how could we deny our children the opportunity to play in the snow?!  We don't get a lot of snow where we live, so even though it is a complete pain in the backside, I remember how special it is as a child to play in the snow.  I would be the meanest mom ever to rob my children of a day in the snow.  But you better believe the first time they complain about an article of clothing, it's coming off and not getting replaced!

We kicked the fun off with a group picture...

Other than the adorable orange-legged bear in the front, they look about ready to rob a bank.

And some snow angels...

Houston attempted to roll his own snowman...

Adam made Hayes a seat of snow...

Hawkins made his own "no-man" and began to sing, "Frosty the no-man had a shiny nose.  And you ever saw it..."

We headed down to the park...

And stopped for a "water break".  Houston inquired how many calories are in snow.

Holt even played in the snow...

For a minute anyway, and spent the rest of the time warm and cozy...

While at the park, Hayes and Adam attempted to extend the slide at the playground an additional two feet by packing snow up to it.  Houston again tried to build his own snowman but it wasn't long before his prototype was morphed into the slide extention.  Holt began to get fussy and it was impossible to tell if it was because he was too hot or too cold.  So Holt, Hawkins, and I left the big boys at the park to have a snowball fight and explore the woods a bit while we headed home to get hot chocolate ready for everyone.

We even had a surprise visit from Abby!



Once it was all said and done, it was a super fabulous day and well worth the extra load of snow laundry.  If only they had school tomorrow and not another snow day!

Hawk-isms

Hawkins has an automatic response when you ask or tell him anything.  "Huh?"  It drives me crazy sometimes most of the time.  In efforts to curb this, I have begun to ignore the "huh?"  Oftentimes, he will go ahead and answer or acknowledge whatever it was that I was telling him.  So I know it is not an issue of his hearing.

Today, I was telling him something and as usual, he immediately responds, "Huh?"
I tell him, "You heard me."
After a few seconds, he responds, "No, you heard ME.  I say, huh?"

Hawk-isms

Hawk:  Hey!  What's this?
Me:  It's a rubberband.
Hawk:  No, it's not!  It's a silly band!

I can just see it 15 years from now, in efforts to promote green and re-purpose, all the office professionals from my childrens' generation will be using silly bands to bind their stacks of papers.

Hawkins (at the office in 15 years):  Hey, I'll trade you a dinosaur for a rocket.

Weekend Fun

One of our favorite dinners around the Schwartz household is a smorgasbord of snack food.  Adam and I began the tradition as newlyweds.  I taught gymnastics at the time and would not get home until 8:30 or 9:00 so we often ate snack food type dinners.  After we both put on 15 pounds or so, we retired that and adopted slightly healthier dinners.


Every now and then, we like to indulge and share in with the kids.  Friday night seemed like a great night.  We packed up and headed to the grocery.  Back-in-the-day snack night didn't cost so much when it was just the two of us!  And note to self: Bagel Bites tasted much better when I was a little kid.

Unknowingly, the cat slipped outside while we were bringing the groceries in.  She loves to sit outside the door for some fresh air and check out the latest neighborhood prowlers.  As we sat down for dinner, we heard a cat fight in progress.  Not realizing our cat was outside, we continued with our meal.  A little while later, we were all playing Mario Kart on the Wii.  Our uber cautious and highly alert neighbor called to let us know that one of our car doors was open.  He suspected something might be suspicious, when actually, one of the kids had just forgotten to shut it.  Hayes went out and shut the door.  We continued with our fierce competition of mad driving.

Around 11, it was nighttime for everyone.  Usually, the cat comes out of hiding once all the noise-makers, aka kiddos, have been put to bed.  Strangely, she was no where to be found.  I called for her at the front door and the back door.  I began to worry a little that the cat fight we had heard earlier was in fact our kitty.  Adam decided he would go out and look for her.  This was the last place I would have looked!

Here I am!  Let me out!  Let me out!

The next day, Saturday, was sweet Sarah's 1st birthday.  I had a great time practicing my photography with a lovely subject, the birthday girl.  It was so precious to watch her open presents and eat cake for the first time.  As an added bonus, we all got a makeover goth look with the black icing.  I was forewarned about the black icing, so I was mindful to brush my teeth extra long just before leaving for the party.  I even consumed the delicious cake without using my teeth, but all my efforts were in vain.  Lips and teeth black as night.  At least everyone in the room was in the same boat.

This will teach Mommy never to leave the house without a bib:

That night Adam and I had a lovely dinner with another couple while the boys hung out at Grammy's house.  We wrapped the weekend up on Sunday by hoping for snow all day.  By 7:00, the storm had blown in and everything was turning white.  By 8:30, the announcement was made that school would be closed!  More on Snow Day to follow.

Hawk and the Blue Sucker

Remind me next time we're at the pediatrician's office to politely decline the sucker.

Calamity Overwhelmed

Remember the Reisen on the floor from yesterday?  I got the real thing today.  Fortunately, he did not try to pick it up and bring it to me.  And I will spare you the picture.

Hawk-isms

Hawkins:  "I eat my yunch!"  (He pronounces L's as Y's)
Me:  "Alright!  You ate your yunch?"  (pronouncing it the way he does)
Hawkins:  In efforts to correct me, "Hey!  It not yunch!  It yunch!"

Obviously he hears the L when he says it, just everyone else hears the Y.

Calamity Continues

Hawkins has been potty trained for a couple weeks now.  However, he does have an occasional accident.  Imagine my freak-out when Hawkins, with a very worried and disgusted face, runs at me complaining over this:

I was feeding Holt at the time and immediately set him down to rush to the sink and grab some paper towels.  "Don't touch anything!" I sternly tell Hawkins.  On my way to the kitchen, something catches my eye.  I glance down.

An empty candy wrapper.  I can not even describe to you the relief that came over me.  The little candy junkie had found Adam's stash of stocking candy on his desk and decided to help himself.  Apparently, Hawk does not like Riesens.  And to think, I figured there wasn't any candy the stinker wouldn't eat!

The Calamity

When I started this blog, I decided on naming it crazy four boys because life with four boys is definitely crazy but we are also crazy over our four boys.  Here is a little glimpse of some of the unglamorous calamity when life is crazy with boys.

3:25  Houston and Hayes get home from school.
3:28  Holt starts fussing for a bottle.  I begin running the water in the coffee pot to heat a bottle.
3:29  Hawkins starts tearing into a set of barn-themed Moon Dough on the kitchen table.  They had received it for Christmas and until this point, we had not opened it.  Anticipating it to be cleaner than Play-Doh, based on what I've seen of the commercials, I decide to let him continue.  Besides, I am halfway pre-occupied with finished some minor household chores while waiting on the bottle.
3:30 1/2  Hayes joins in on Hawkins' fun and Houston has begun playing with Magic cards also on the kitchen table.
3:34  The moon dough packaging had been torn open and Hayes and Hawkins were working out how to fit all the pieces together to make it work.  Houston, witnessing how much fun they were having and also seeing their struggle, attempts to "help".  Hawkins saw this more as a threat and began fussing at him.  Houston and Hawkins commence arguing.
3:35  Holt is still fussing for his not-yet-warm-enough bottle.
3:35 1/2  I head over to resolve the kitchen table crisis.  Houston is cradling the barn, which is jammed, trying to repair it while Hawkins is crying and fighting with him to return his toy.  As I get to the table, I see moon dough scattered across the table, the chairs, and the floor.  Okay, so original verdict on moon dough incorrect.
3:36  I keep my composure while refraining from a total urge to freak out over the mess before me.  I can foresee the moon dough being crushed into the grout.  I determine it best to hold off on the moon dough since I will soon be incapacitated feeding a screaming baby.  Obviously, they require assistance or referee-ing at the very least, so I ask all the kids to step away.
3:36 1/2  Hawkins starts balling again over having to leave his toy.  I find out later, Hayes heads to the restroom.
3:37  Holt is getting increasingly angry and I begin cleaning up the million shreds of moon dough sprinkled across my kitchen.
3:43  I sit down with Holt and begin feeding him a bottle.  Ah.  A little quiet again to settle my nerves.
3:44  Scratch that.  Houston and Hawkins begin arguing just for the sake of arguing.  Whatever Houston says, Hawkins feels as though he must automatically disagree and then Houston, knowing he is right, feels the need to correct him.  The simple yet annoying case of "no it's not" versus "yes it is".
3:46  Reprimand the argumentative children and send them on their seperate ways.
3:49  Hawkins comes to tell me that Hayes made a mess in the bathroom.  Houston: "No he didn't!"  Arguing commences.
3:49 1/2  Realizing he has not been heard from in quite some time, I holler for Hayes.  From his answer, I can tell he is in the bathroom.  "I accidentally made a mess in the bathroom" he yells back to me.  "Is it number 1 or number 2?" I question.  Fortunately, it is just pee.
3:50  Houston runs in the room to inform me that Hayes has indeed made a mess in the bathroom and has used an entire roll of toilet paper in efforts to clean the pee off the floor.
3:50 1/2  Horrible mental picture of the situation in the bathroom.
3:51  Still feeding Holt, I send Houston in with a towel and specific instructions to only use feet to swirl it around.
3:55  Hayes and Houston emerge from the bathroom and I deem it unsafe to use until Dad comes home.

I never even asked Hayes, my child who has now been potty trained for three years, how pee ended up all over the bathroom.  Some things inquiring minds do not want to know.

Holt is 2 Months!

Wow!  I can not even believe Holt has been with us for two months already!  He is such a sweet and precious baby.  We could not be more blessed to have him in our family.  If you remember from my previous post, when I called to schedule his 2 month check-up, I was remembering his birthday wrong.  Because of my error, his appointment is not until this Friday.  Therefore, I will add his stats to this post on Friday so be sure to check back then for height, weight, and percentiles.

*  You weigh 11 lb 13 oz and are 23" long.  You are in the 50th percentile for height and weight and the 90th percentile for head.  (You can thank your daddy for that one!)
*  We found out today that you have a contracted muscle in your neck that keeps you always looking to your left.  Dr. Owen assigned me some homework, stretching that muscle out.  You're beginning to get a flat spot on the back left of your head because of this.  This is nothing to worry about, I was assured and even if we didn't do our exercises, it should work itself out.
*  You still sleep swaddled in your car seat, on top of the vibrating seat, in our bathtub.  We leave the vent on for some white noise while you are sleeping.
*  You started smiling already (apparently ahead of the curve, I might add).  I get milestone emails and one thing it had said to look for in this upcoming month was a real grin and you've already done that!
*  You have the sweetest voice.  This best time to a catch a nice conversation with you and a big grin is after you've finished drinking a bottle, provided that you're still awake.
*  You are really starting to get some good neck control.  Not ready for the Bumbo yet, but it's coming!
*  Your face is getting rounder and rounder.  We love your little chubby bunny cheeks.

*  You are mesmerized by the ceiling fans.  If you're being a little fussy after being laid down on the couch, you'll catch a glipse of the fan and immediately hush.
*  When I offer you the bottle, you get really excited and try to "help" with your arms.  Sometimes it seems as though you are even guarding the bottle in your mouth with your hands.  It's as if you are saying, "This is mine and I am NOT sharing."  I think somehow you already know what world you have entered into and already understand that with three brothers, you're gonna have to fight for your piece of the pie.
*  You are a noisy little baby.  You grunt and moan constantly.  When you moan while you're eating, I like to think it is because you are thoroughly enjoying the delicious meal that I painstakingly prepared just for you.
*  We made you a confetti angel food cake for your two month birthday.  We all enjoyed eating it, while you had a bottle.  I think you have now had more "birthday cakes" than your older brother, Hawkins.

Gingerbread House

Today was the kids' last day home on Christmas Break.

Sidenote:  While making casual conversation at Schwartzmas, Vickie had asked me if the kids were returning to school on Monday, January 3rd.  I sadly responded yes and that I could not believe the long break was already coming to an end.  Overhearing this, Natalie asked me if I was sure because her friend who teaches school had told her that kids return on Tuesday, January 4th and only the teachers come Monday.  Hmmm.  Well, I decided I needed to investigate.  Sure enough, the kids were not due back until Tuesday.  Thankfully the events transpired this way because otherwise, the Schwartz boys and I would have been standing at the bus stop promptly at 7:40 a.m. waiting on a bus that would never arrive.  Note to self:  After sending Huey to school in pajamas on the wrong day, and nearly sending both of them back to school on a non-school day, you must do a better job of keeping it together!

With our final day of freedom, I decided we should probably decorate the gingerbread house that we never got into.  Houston helped me erect the structure.  I opened all the individual candy bags from the kit and dumped everything into a community bowl.  Once that was completed, I called for the rest of the kiddos to come help. 

Houston used the little candies to make holly along the eaves.  Hayes enjoyed sticking the pieces of candy all over the house.

Hawkins could not refrain from eating the candy.  The kid is a serious candy junkie.  After being reprimanded again and again for eating the candy, he devised his own "compromise".  He would take a nibble of each piece of candy before placing it on the house.  Hayes is the one who discovered it.  Hayes announced disgustingly, "Mom!  Hawkins is putting candy on that he already ate!"  Hayes then became fixated on yanking each piece off that Hawkins had tasted.

After finishing the house, the kids each had a "character" to decorate that sat outside the house.  Hawkins had a Christmas tree and with his lead, they all attempted to sing "O, Christmas Tree O, Christmas Tree" for the next 10 minutes.  Of course no one knew anymore words to the song that just the title.  Therefore, it involved a bunch of humming as well.  Houston decorated the gingerbread man to have blue eyes just like him.  Hayes decorated the snowman and took care to give him three buttons on his coat.  The entire project took a good 45 minutes to complete.

Not interested in having it occupy space on my counter for days, I immediately turned them loose on devouring it.  The characters went first and vanished within 92 seconds.  Next were the gumballs, followed by the rest of the candy.  Ten minutes later (no lie), here's what the poor gingerbread house had been reduced to:

Huey-isms

While sitting around the table eating lunch, I asked the kids what their New Year's resolutions might be.  I explained to them that resolutions are like goals or just something really cool or really special that you would like to do.  Houston immediately shouted that he would like to bake cookies.  Hayes, following Houston's lead, said he would also like to bake cookies.  I then explained further what a resolution is.  Houston then decided he would like to clean up the whole world.  Alright, getting closer.  Hayes said he would like to get his yellow belt.  Houston, now on a roll of listing things and considering the greater good, said he would like to teach Hayes how to play Pokemon.  He would also like for us to get a new house.  Then his wheels really started spinning.

Houston:  We need to raise money for a new home.
Dad:  How are we going to do that?
Houston:  We could have a lemon thingy.
Dad:  A lemonade stand?
Houston:  (with his index finger pointed directly up in the air) Yeah, we need wood, glasses, and lemons.  A dollar a glass!  (more deep thought)  Or we could have a pop tart stand!

Smokehouse Porterhouse

The other night I sent Adam to the grocery for some steaks.  We generally purchase flat iron steak.  They grill up nicely, with great flavor, and are very budget friendly.  He instead walked in with two porterhouses.  "They were on manager special" he tells me as I give him "the look".  I rolled my eyes and left him to his own devices for preparing dinner.

We have been needing a new grill for several months now.  I do believe this is the reason it has been so long since we have grilled steaks at home.  We had just forgotten the severity of the situation until he went out to fire it up.  The grill plates are disintegrated and the burner tray in the bottom had split in half.  No go on the steaks.

Super!  $23 of steaks that are already on borrowed time, since they were purchased from the quick sale bin and no grill.  Cooking them on the Foreman just seemed like blasphemy for such a cut of meat.  Disheartened, we decided to wrap them back up for a later day and eat a bowl of cereal instead.

We watch a lot of Food Network and the next day I recalled an episode where Alex Guarnaschelli cooked a porterhouse in an iron skillet.  She even said that's her preferred method.  We love her and trust her, so today I tackled it.  It involves super heating an iron skillet to get a good sear on one side of the steak, lower the heat to cook that side, then repeat the process with the other side.

I heated the skillet up, seasoned the steak, and slapped it in there.  Within seconds, tons of smoke was coming off the pan.  I immediately turned on the ventahood.  However, it could not keep up.  Within minutes, the house was filled with smoke.  The kids were in the living room watching the whole thing transpire.  Elbows deep in a quickly searing burning steak, I rushed to fling open the front and back doors and create a draft.  The smoke was visibly billowing out the front door.  It helped, but there was quite a heavy layer of smoke still to dissipate.  Tending to the porterhouse once again, I glanced over to my hallway beside the kitchen.  Houston had rallied Hayes away from the television and they both had engaged in emergency procedures.

He had moved Holt into his room and shut the door in efforts to protect him from the smoke.  And apparently left Hawkins for dead.

Christmas Cheer

"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing screaming loud for all to hear."
                                                                                  -Buddy the Elf, revised

This is Hawkins bossing his brothers around and giving them the "what for" while playing with their joint present, the Bat Cave.