Christmas Catalogs

Today was the day my children have been anticipating for nearly 320-some odd days -- the arrival of the Christmas catalogs!  However, little did my children know, that I remembered from last year what a horrible experience this was.  The circling of pictures and making of the Christmas wish list, that is. 

Here's how it went down last year:

As a child, my brothers and I had a blast looking through the Christmas catalogs.  With each flip of the page, we were dreaming of what we would possibly find under the tree on Christmas morning.  Fast forward to 2010.  When the Target and Toys R Us ads arrived in the mailbox, I couldn't wait for the kids to arrive home!  I greeted them at the door with markers and magazines in hand.  I think I actually had visions of sugar plums in my head as I offered the catalogs, chock full of the best toys that retailers had to offer, to the pack of hyenas disguised as my children.  Within a matter of minutes, they had nearly devoured the shiny circulars as if a delectable, lone wildebeest.  The remains were nearly unrecognizable.  I had to intercept a few fists, snatch some markers, and enforce time-outs.  I could not convince my children that an item on one child's list was actually a win for the whole family.

As the toy catalogs began to arrive this year, Adam and I decided to dispose of the evidence quickly and permanently.  Until today.  When I checked the mail, there was another holiday teaser.  I guess I had a change of heart.  Who am I to deprive my boys of such an exciting and joyous pasttime?

Once again, I greeted them at the door with the catalog.  I enticingly offered to Houston, "How would you like to pick out your Christmas list?" as I dangled the fresh meat in front of his face.  His eyes popped open and his mouth dropped.  "I get to go first?!"  He couldn't believe it!  He snatched the catalog and bee-lined for the kitchen.  He ravaged the junk drawer for a Sharpie marker and came up empty.  He settled on an ink pen and plopped down at the table, never even stopping to remove his backpack.  You could see the elation and expectancy grow with each page turn.  The anticipation was killing him as he scrambled to get through the "girls section".  Worry began to set in as he realized he was nearing the end and still had not found anything for boys.

And then the unthinkable happened...he reached the last page.  He was completely bewildered that there was not a single Transformer or Bionicle.  Not even the most basic of boys toys, a truck or a train, were present.  That's when he flipped back to the front cover.

"You can order the dolls to look just like you!" I taunted him.  "And they have every accessory in the world you could think of!  Wanna have a tea party?  They've got you covered!  Wanna hit the slopes for some skiing?  They've got that too!  How 'bout a pet?  So many to choose from!"

He was not amused.  I presume it worked out for the best, considering I'd have to refinance the mortgage to afford such a gift.